'Monkey Poo' Protein Shake 👌

If our friends in Scotland can deep fry a Mars bar, then surely it’s ok to drink a Marathon?

If you’re of a certain age, you probably remember the uproar in 1990 over the decision by Mars to discontinue the much-loved Marathon bar and rename it ‘Snickers’.

The reported reason was the need for a ‘unified brand worldwide’, since ‘Snickers’ offered stronger ‘global recognition’ and lower packaging and advertising costs. Great for Mars, but not for those of us who cherished our school-time snack memories.

Well, thanks to Joe Wicks, the perpetually peppy fitness guru, I got to revisit my youthful Marathon bar habit—albeit in liquid form.

Mrs D bought one of his books—not, she assured me, for his good looks and fine head of hair, but for the recipes, silly. I’ll have to take her word for it.

Shortly after, I heard her rummaging around in the kitchen, then our long-disused blender fired up like some demented outboard motor. A few minutes later, she presented me with a small glass of brown goo to sample. It was my first Wicks-approved ‘Chunky Monkey’ protein shake.

I wasn’t overly impressed with the taste, but I saw some potential, so I got to work and made a few small ‘improvements’.

I used skimmed milk and frozen banana to create a creamier texture than the original, but it still brings back those peanut-and-chocolate Marathon memories quite well.

This is my version. Mr Wicks, thanks for the inspiration. I salute you.

Ingredients

• 6-8 frozen banana slices (slice and freeze your own to reduce waste)

• 250ml skimmed milk (use semi-skimmed as an occasional treat)

• 1 tbsp peanut butter (palm oil-free is best)

• 1 tsp cocoa powder

• 25g chocolate protein powder

Method

There isn’t much method, really. Just chuck everything in the blender, give it a wazz and pour into a tall glass. Serves one.

Lower calories → reduce the peanut butter
Higher protein → increase protein powder to 30 g
Higher calories → change to semi-skimmed milk for a creamier taste

Nutrition (per serving)

Calories: 285 kcal
Protein: 30.5 g
Carbohydrates: 28 g
Fat: 6.5 g (saturated: 1.6 g)

Protein is a key ingredient for healthy ageing, I aim for 30g per meal and around 90g per day. This protein-rich drink is a quick and easy way to increase your daily intake.

I was convinced I’d perfected the recipe, but ‘drink 2.0’ still lacked a name.

While I poured my new gold standard (at least in my eyes), my son wandered into the kitchen. I offered him a glass and explained it was my version of Chunky Monkey.

He shot me a withering glance and said, “Chunky Monkey? It looks more like monkey poo!” Not quite a branding masterstroke, but the name stuck. Monkey Poo it became.

Our protein shake stand-off continues to this day: Mrs D has hers, I have mine.

---

---

Medical Disclaimer: This article is for general information only and does not constitute medical advice. The needs of every reader are unique; please consult your GP or a qualified healthcare professional before making changes to your diet, exercise routine, or medication. Never ignore professional medical advice because of something you read online.